Overdue Update

Hello, wonderful people!

Where to even begin?

This update is very very late. And there's a reason for that. On one hand, I've been really busy lately with work, with services, with building new friendships. But on the other hand, I've been dealing with a lot of different emotions lately. I've started this update, highlighted it, deleted it, and began again. ...And again. There is so much I could tell you all about that has happened in the past four weeks.

{Pololu Valley}

I could tell you about my being freed from fear. I could tell you about praying for a friend and being able to witness her be healed. I could tell you about an amazing powerful weekend on a women's retreat and about this magnificent place called Pololu Valley that I had envisioned and sketched two years before ever coming here and discovering that place. I could tell you about everything that God's taught me. I could tell you about my difficult weeks of fighting a spiritual attack of depression and spiritual exhaustion. I could tell you about how many obstacles our group has faced here. I could tell you about my wonderful opportunity to serve now from the kitchen to the university preschool with the four-year-olds. I could tell you about the questioning and the doubts that I've had in conflict over what my calling and purpose is and what I want in life. I could tell you about road trips and about late-night escapades and about beach trips. I could tell you about the new friends I've made, the coffee dates and the long talks, and how difficult it's been saying goodbye.

But I'm not going to. Because for some reason, tonight, I feel like talking about the now. The past month has been incredible. It's left me with some of the best memories of my time here. Through the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears, I wouldn't change a thing. Not a moment of it. But in that time, through it all, a lot changed. A lot changed back home and a lot changed in me. The Lord's grown me and tweaked some things in me. And that's a good thing.

But it also leaves me in an interesting position in life. Life as I once knew it two months ago isn't the same. It won't be the same when I return. I have no idea anymore what my future is supposed to look like, what God wants me to do, what He has in store for me four weeks from now. And while just a few weeks ago, that would've caused me tears and anxiety and stress... it doesn't anymore. I've made the choice now to live with hands open to anyone and everything that God puts in my life. One day at a time. My life is a completely blank page ahead of me and that's exciting. Why should I be afraid? Sometimes we maybe put the emphasis of our "calling" in life as so important that we forget that the MOST important thing in our life is our relationship with the Lord. Without Him, what purpose does our life have at all? So why fret about what I'm supposed to do with my life? I'm walking with God and I'm here to bring Him glory in all that I'm called to do every day. I know that I'm in good hands.

{Mauka Meadows Coffee Farm}

I have a lot of stories I can tell when I get back and a lot of pictures I can share. Let's get coffee when I get home! But for now, while this isn't much of an update, I just felt led instead to really challenge you all to evaluate your lives. What are your fears? What things are causing you anxiety or stress or worry? What is that one thing in your life- maybe a situation or something spiritual- that keeps rolling around and around in your mind, consuming your thoughts every day? What is that one thing? For me, it's control. Control of my life. Fear of the unknown.

But here's the thing: Do you realize that all of those things we worry about... We're actually placing above God in our lives? We're saying through our fear and our worry that this thing in our lives is greater. That it's too big for God. That He can't handle it. That's essentially what we're saying because if we really believe that God is in control and that nothing is too big for Him, that we really trust Him and trust in His perfect plans for our ultimate good, we wouldn't be holding onto that one thing, worrying, stressing, fearing, replaying it in our minds over and over again. The Enemy tries to use so much to hold us back from living our lives to the fullest in abundance of all that God has for us. 

But I declare, just let it go.

Be free.

Go and walk in victory and be held in bondage no more.

God is great and He is a good Father and no matter what happens and comes our way in this life, He is still on the throne. He still has this world in His hands and He still has the high authority in the lives of His children whom He loves so much.

So let it go. Walk in freedom. Live in the moment. Be present. Stop thinking about tomorrow just for a minute. Be still, soak in His presence, embrace the blessings He's lavished upon you. You're worth it because by His action of dying on the cross for your sins and blessing you with the offer of eternal life, He says that no matter what you've done or how undeserving you feel you are to accept His goodness in your life, you are worth it. So enjoy the life that He's given you. It's beautiful. Just like you. Breathe. Put your hand on your chest and feel your heart beating. That's God saying that He has a purpose for you, and above your occupation, above your "calling" in life, you are first and foremost already called to one great purpose above them all. And that is to glorify your Father in Heaven and to shine His light and His love that others will come to know Him. That is your purpose and your calling every single day with the gift of life that He gives you every morning you open your eyes to another sun dawning of a new day. That is your calling.

I challenge you... surrender, be free, and go live it. Not tomorrow, not next year, not six months from now or two weeks from now. Go live it today. Don't waste a single moment of your life by not pointing others back in all that you do and speak to our great Creator who gives life meaning in the midst of the chaos and the storms and the mess and the beauty that we call Life.

{Mauka Meadows}

{Hapuna Beach}

{On the Rocks restaurant}

{Pololu Valley}

{Hot Springs}

{My preschool classroom}

Friends, Family, I've seen amazing things while I've been here, and I'm so thankful for the time that I've had to live here and serve the Lord here. It has been such a gift from God and I feel His love in it every day. I've experienced a lot. I've tried new things. I've seen things that before, I couldn't even dream of ever seeing. The land: mountains, valleys, waterfalls, lava rock, sandy shores, black sand, giant waves, coffee farms, hot springs, an active volcano. The culture: hula, a luau, basket-weaving, leis, historic sites. The food: poi, poke, haupia, kalua pork, Kona coffee, malasadas, mud pies, musubi. The wildlife: mongooses, pigeons, colorful birds, vibrant fish, geckos, "Kona-cruisers" (giant cockroaches), sea urchins, humpback whales, wild goats. The vegetation: palms, hisbiscus, plumeria, banyan trees, coffee trees, fruit trees. I've seen sunsets to take your breath away, mist of the foamy waves crashing over the rocks, fallen plumeria blossoms lining the streets in gentle array. This weekend, I'm visiting the famous Mauna Kea. I've had incredible experiences spiritually with the Lord. As my time here draws to a close so quickly, I reflect, and if I could go back and make the decision to come here again, I still would.

But I'm ready to come home now. I land in Georgia in less than just four weeks' time and I'm so excited. Not because I'm ready to leave here. I'm going to cry. I'm going to miss so much about this place and I'm going to miss the people. But I've been away long enough. There are people at home who still need me right now and I need them. It's time to return home and to move on into what God has in store for me now in the next season of life. And I know in my spirit that for now, that's supposed to be in Georgia. Maybe someday I'll be back and I'll make my residence in Hawaii, but right now, I need to go home. And that's okay too.

I have things at home that I'm going to have to face. I have decisions that I'll need to make. But you know what? For now I'm called to be here in Hawaii and I've been called to show His love, point others back to Him, and to serve Him in a roomful of preschoolers from the community. So I will live here in the now and focus on the task He's given me. He has tomorrow in His hands. My spirit is at peace. I rest in Him. 

I'm grateful for your continued prayers and I've seen and felt the effects of them more than ever this past month. I can't imagine doing what I do here without your support from home. I'm eager to see your faces again. I love you all and I'll be seeing you very soon! I pray God blesses each of you abundantly. 

With Much Love and Aloha, 

Julia

Life to the Fullest

Isn't it strange? Life keeps running and never stops. With every breath that we breathe, we are living life. I've gone on some awesome adventures while here. I've stood looking down at raging waterfalls, I've stood on black shores and looked out at the ocean on the horizon, I've looked out at the mountains and valleys as we road trip through the jungle, I've soaked in a hot spring. And I can't help thinking to myself that maybe this is how life is supposed to be. 

I'm surrounded by a group of young people here. I'm one of those young people. Some of us have plans; most of us have no idea what lies ahead for us back home. We move in and out of each other's lives. We go on adventures together and we bond. We pray together, cry together, worship God together. We make plans for the future to visit each other halfway around the globe, never knowing what even tomorrow will bring. Young hearts so full of life, so full of dreams and plans and big ambitions. So eager to climb the next mountain to see what's ahead, so yearning for the real and the authentic in life. 

And maybe that's how life is supposed to be lived. With enthusiasm and eagerness. With openness to love and embrace to your heart unreserved whoever is put in your path without fear of "goodbye." With courage to dream big for tomorrow and make plans without fear of uncertainty. With passion seeking God's face in every day without a growing tepidity of mundane life. 

To live Life with open hands to anyone and everything that God brings. And that God takes away. No stress, no worry, no fear. Only trust and faith and freedom. And abundant Life lived to the fullest with no regrets.

Where Can I Go from Your Spirit?

February 17, 2016

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 

“If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” 

Psalm 139:7,9&10

Broken Made Whole

February 9, 2016

Last night we were privileged to have Jonathan David and Melissa Helser lead us in worship for our corporate ministry night. They are the couple who wrote "No Longer Slaves," a song recorded by the Helsers with Bethel Music that has been on the lips of worshippers across the globe. Such a powerful time of worship last night and such gifted and anointed worship leaders. It was a mini Bethel concert. The perks of being on the biggest YWAM base in the world. Isn't that crazy? I'm on the biggest Youth With A Mission training base in the entire world. It blows my mind. I used to listen to that song "No Longer Slaves" so many times in my car late at night driving home alone from my Thursday night young adult Forerunner service at IHOP Atlanta. 

I've been very blessed here. God's given me the opportunity to hear many stories. It's been so real and authentic. You take time, you build relationships, and people tell you their stories. 

I've heard some stories that have surprised me. I've heard stories that I found difficult to hear. I've heard stories that challenged me. I've heard stories that brought me to tears. 

But among them all, I've learned one thing. That no matter what your story is, we're not that different. No matter where you are, no matter what you've been through or where you've been, we're all the same. Unworthiness, shame, failure, isolation, insecurity, comparison to others, distance from God, coldness and callousedness, doubts, fear, anxiety... Whatever we feel, we are not alone. 

I'm surrounded by broken people here. God has gathered hundreds of people together all with our own stuff. And the one thing I've learned is that no matter how perfect and spiritually mature someone appears to be- they could be your greatest role model- none of us have it all together. I don't have it all together. None of us can be idolized and shouldn't be. We all have our own pieces that are broken, dark corners of our heart that we try to keep tucked away and hidden. 

But God meets us right where we are. He comforts. He touches us. And He heals. He makes our pieces whole again. He breaks bondage. He frees. He makes beauty from what our eyes can only see as mistakes and struggles and failures. He sees us as a beautiful beautiful mess that He adores. That He adores with all of our imperfections. He thinks that you are amazing. Do you realize that? Even with all of our brokenness that we bring to Him in cupped hands and humbled hearts, He is crazy about you. 

You think you love God. Hands lifted high to Heaven, singing, shouting, dancing, jumping, crying, weeping, a fire burning within your spirit. You think you'll explode if you love Him any more. But that is nothing compared to how in love with you He is. He loves you madly, more than we will ever get our minds around. 

And isn't that a wonderful thought?

Women's Retreat

February 7, 2016

This weekend I went on my first women's retreat. Our group of about thirty women of all ages piled into YWAM vans and traveled on a road trip across the island to the city of North Kohala to Makapala Christian Retreat Center, an 1800's boarding school that hasn't been renovated much. It felt like we were staying in a historic site that should be preserved and open for tours rather than for retreat guests. Sure, it was old- very, very old- and more than a little dusty, but I liked it. I like old things. 

After settling in and launching our weekend with getting to know each other and with focusing our purpose for being there, most of us chose to go hiking nearby. Nearby at Pololu Valley. 

This place. Words can't describe it. I couldn't believe that I had lived over twenty years of my life already never knowing that such a place even existed on the face of this planet, tucked away like a hidden diamond on this small island in the Pacific. The minute that I saw it, I felt tears pushing forward. I was that awestruck by God's glory revealed in His creation. A wave of His presence came over me and surrounded me.

The past week or two, I admit, I was feeling more than ready to go home. Without transportation anywhere, all I ever see of the island day after day is the three mile stretch of downtown Kailua-Kona. I'm used to having my own car and having endless new places to visit and explore. My two legs can only take me so far. I was growing bored of Hawaii. Who knew that someone could live in a place where thousands of people dream of being able to live and she would be bored of the place? Kona's very beautiful and there are still a few things that I know Hawaii has to offer that I want to see, but I was starting to feel like mostly, it was more of the same. Was there anything new I could explore?

Then I saw Pololu Valley. Then I went hiking in the jungle. Then I walked on black sands. Then I held lava rocks washed up from the ocean. 

And I knew I was wrong. 

I felt the Lord whisper to my heart that He is like this island. Sometimes as believers when we've walked with God for some time, we can begin to feel like there's nothing more to discover about Him. Our relationship can grow stale. We become apathetic. Our spiritual disciplines can become mundane. But just as I was reminded that there is so much beauty here on this island of Hawaii that I haven't seen yet, there is so much about God and His character, who He is, that we can never entirely understand and see and experience until we get to Heaven and see Him face to face. There is always more to discover about Him. A wellspring of learning that will never run dry. 

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." 1Corinthians 13:12

I began hiking on that steep trail down the mountain and a pencil sketch that I had drawn two years ago came to my mind as I looked out over Pololu Valley. This place. I had found the place that my mind had imagined two years ago before my coming. 

Down on the beach, I kicked off my Chacos and sunk my feet deep into the black sand for the first time. So awesome. I waded out into the water and Bible verses began popping into my mind. The words "be brave" came to my mind. Be brave. I felt the Lord telling me to be brave in all that He has for my future. To be brave and trust Him in what's ahead for me in my next season of life back home in Georgia. 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2Timothy 1:7

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price." Revelations 22:17

I felt the sand beneath my feet being washed away with every wave that crashed and pulled back out to sea. And every time, I had to shift my position and readjust my stance to stand firmly again. To my mind came Ephesians 6:13. 

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm." Ephesians 6:13

I sat down on the rocks away from the group to write in my journal. I looked to my right and saw a big heart-shaped lava rock lying beside me and I was reminded of God's love for me. 

Later I started alone on the trail back up. It was so steep! It was very dry there so some parts were sandy and difficult to get secure footing on. Other parts were rocky and I had to really stretch to step up. I had to pick my footing carefully. I was very thankful for my Chacos! Some areas of the trail posed me with a choice: a sandy way that was more flat or a rocky path that was more secure. In life, we have to choose our own paths, the Lord spoke to me. And the easiest path is the path that's unsure while the path that God calls us to walk may have more ups and downs but is ultimately more safe, more secure, and a solid foundation that cannot be shaken. 

"'Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.'" Matthew 7:24-27

We returned to our retreat house to a powerful time of praying freedom over each other, a restful night of a rain shower heavier than we've seen in our time here, and a morning of encouraging and uplifting one another. And when we returned to Kona, the truth is, I had missed our Hale Ola home that before I had been bored of. I'm very excited to go back to Georgia because I know that's where the next season of my life is for now but I also know that there's still much to be done first in the next two months. So I pray, I learn, I listen, I wait, and I watch in patient expectation to see all that my good Father has in store.

Psalm 136

February 6, 2016

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. 

...to him who alone does great wonders, for his steadfast love endures forever; 

to him who by understanding made the heavens, for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who spread out the earth above the waters, for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who made the great lights, for his steadfast love endures forever;

the sun to rule over the day,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

the moon and stars to rule over the night, for his steadfast love endures forever..." Psalms 136:1,4-9

For His Steadfast LOVE Endures FOREVER! 🌾

Little Surprises

February 5, 2016

I've been learning a ton here through my times spent with the Lord. He's amazing. In the midst of our busy lives every day, how often do we take time out to go to a coffee shop alone for a couple hours and just have a give-and-take genuine conversation with God like He's right beside us across the table as He is?

I get to do that every day here. 

Some of things that He's taught me is that He loves me so much. So much that anything that matters to me matters to Him. That He delights in me. And that He knows my desires before I say a word. 

A few days ago, I was making a list of things that I miss from home. On that list was cinnamon rolls. I'm a major foodie unashamed and I have been craving a warm, gooey cinnamon roll. I don't have easy access to any here. 

I would never ask God for something like a cinnamon roll. If I did, I wouldn't be serious about it. But today after work... God had a surprise for me. 

God gave me a cinnamon roll. 

A big giant, warm, ooey-gooey, frosting-soaked cinnamon roll. I was so happy!

And through that He reminded me that He cares about everything that matters to me. 

Sometimes we need to be reminded. We get so caught up in our human minds and our insecurities that we oftentimes forget. 

Great spiritual experiences are awesome. They can't be underplayed. Lots of energy, revival services, powerful worship, signs and wonders, miracles, prophecies. They're awesome. But God doesn't always shout to speak to us. I've found that more often, He whispers to our hearts. It's simple. It's pure. It's childlike. 

He loves us His children and He joys in delighting us. Nothing is too insignificant, too trivial, too "silly" or "stupid." He loves you and cares about every aspect of your life, every part of your heart, every thought of your mind. Every breath that you breathe. He loves you indescribably and is passionately pursuing your time, your focus, your attention, your heart. 

Remember that. And never forget. 

He longs for you and wants to be invited into every part of your day. Let Him in and find joy at the surprises that unfold as He becomes the center of all that you do.