Hello, wonderful people!
Where to even begin?
This update is very very late. And there's a reason for that. On one hand, I've been really busy lately with work, with services, with building new friendships. But on the other hand, I've been dealing with a lot of different emotions lately. I've started this update, highlighted it, deleted it, and began again. ...And again. There is so much I could tell you all about that has happened in the past four weeks.
{Pololu Valley}
I could tell you about my being freed from fear. I could tell you about praying for a friend and being able to witness her be healed. I could tell you about an amazing powerful weekend on a women's retreat and about this magnificent place called Pololu Valley that I had envisioned and sketched two years before ever coming here and discovering that place. I could tell you about everything that God's taught me. I could tell you about my difficult weeks of fighting a spiritual attack of depression and spiritual exhaustion. I could tell you about how many obstacles our group has faced here. I could tell you about my wonderful opportunity to serve now from the kitchen to the university preschool with the four-year-olds. I could tell you about the questioning and the doubts that I've had in conflict over what my calling and purpose is and what I want in life. I could tell you about road trips and about late-night escapades and about beach trips. I could tell you about the new friends I've made, the coffee dates and the long talks, and how difficult it's been saying goodbye.
But I'm not going to. Because for some reason, tonight, I feel like talking about the now. The past month has been incredible. It's left me with some of the best memories of my time here. Through the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears, I wouldn't change a thing. Not a moment of it. But in that time, through it all, a lot changed. A lot changed back home and a lot changed in me. The Lord's grown me and tweaked some things in me. And that's a good thing.
But it also leaves me in an interesting position in life. Life as I once knew it two months ago isn't the same. It won't be the same when I return. I have no idea anymore what my future is supposed to look like, what God wants me to do, what He has in store for me four weeks from now. And while just a few weeks ago, that would've caused me tears and anxiety and stress... it doesn't anymore. I've made the choice now to live with hands open to anyone and everything that God puts in my life. One day at a time. My life is a completely blank page ahead of me and that's exciting. Why should I be afraid? Sometimes we maybe put the emphasis of our "calling" in life as so important that we forget that the MOST important thing in our life is our relationship with the Lord. Without Him, what purpose does our life have at all? So why fret about what I'm supposed to do with my life? I'm walking with God and I'm here to bring Him glory in all that I'm called to do every day. I know that I'm in good hands.
{Mauka Meadows Coffee Farm}
I have a lot of stories I can tell when I get back and a lot of pictures I can share. Let's get coffee when I get home! But for now, while this isn't much of an update, I just felt led instead to really challenge you all to evaluate your lives. What are your fears? What things are causing you anxiety or stress or worry? What is that one thing in your life- maybe a situation or something spiritual- that keeps rolling around and around in your mind, consuming your thoughts every day? What is that one thing? For me, it's control. Control of my life. Fear of the unknown.
But here's the thing: Do you realize that all of those things we worry about... We're actually placing above God in our lives? We're saying through our fear and our worry that this thing in our lives is greater. That it's too big for God. That He can't handle it. That's essentially what we're saying because if we really believe that God is in control and that nothing is too big for Him, that we really trust Him and trust in His perfect plans for our ultimate good, we wouldn't be holding onto that one thing, worrying, stressing, fearing, replaying it in our minds over and over again. The Enemy tries to use so much to hold us back from living our lives to the fullest in abundance of all that God has for us.
But I declare, just let it go.
Be free.
Go and walk in victory and be held in bondage no more.
God is great and He is a good Father and no matter what happens and comes our way in this life, He is still on the throne. He still has this world in His hands and He still has the high authority in the lives of His children whom He loves so much.
So let it go. Walk in freedom. Live in the moment. Be present. Stop thinking about tomorrow just for a minute. Be still, soak in His presence, embrace the blessings He's lavished upon you. You're worth it because by His action of dying on the cross for your sins and blessing you with the offer of eternal life, He says that no matter what you've done or how undeserving you feel you are to accept His goodness in your life, you are worth it. So enjoy the life that He's given you. It's beautiful. Just like you. Breathe. Put your hand on your chest and feel your heart beating. That's God saying that He has a purpose for you, and above your occupation, above your "calling" in life, you are first and foremost already called to one great purpose above them all. And that is to glorify your Father in Heaven and to shine His light and His love that others will come to know Him. That is your purpose and your calling every single day with the gift of life that He gives you every morning you open your eyes to another sun dawning of a new day. That is your calling.
I challenge you... surrender, be free, and go live it. Not tomorrow, not next year, not six months from now or two weeks from now. Go live it today. Don't waste a single moment of your life by not pointing others back in all that you do and speak to our great Creator who gives life meaning in the midst of the chaos and the storms and the mess and the beauty that we call Life.
{Mauka Meadows}
{Hapuna Beach}
{Pololu Valley}
Friends, Family, I've seen amazing things while I've been here, and I'm so thankful for the time that I've had to live here and serve the Lord here. It has been such a gift from God and I feel His love in it every day. I've experienced a lot. I've tried new things. I've seen things that before, I couldn't even dream of ever seeing. The land: mountains, valleys, waterfalls, lava rock, sandy shores, black sand, giant waves, coffee farms, hot springs, an active volcano. The culture: hula, a luau, basket-weaving, leis, historic sites. The food: poi, poke, haupia, kalua pork, Kona coffee, malasadas, mud pies, musubi. The wildlife: mongooses, pigeons, colorful birds, vibrant fish, geckos, "Kona-cruisers" (giant cockroaches), sea urchins, humpback whales, wild goats. The vegetation: palms, hisbiscus, plumeria, banyan trees, coffee trees, fruit trees. I've seen sunsets to take your breath away, mist of the foamy waves crashing over the rocks, fallen plumeria blossoms lining the streets in gentle array. This weekend, I'm visiting the famous Mauna Kea. I've had incredible experiences spiritually with the Lord. As my time here draws to a close so quickly, I reflect, and if I could go back and make the decision to come here again, I still would.
But I'm ready to come home now. I land in Georgia in less than just four weeks' time and I'm so excited. Not because I'm ready to leave here. I'm going to cry. I'm going to miss so much about this place and I'm going to miss the people. But I've been away long enough. There are people at home who still need me right now and I need them. It's time to return home and to move on into what God has in store for me now in the next season of life. And I know in my spirit that for now, that's supposed to be in Georgia. Maybe someday I'll be back and I'll make my residence in Hawaii, but right now, I need to go home. And that's okay too.
I have things at home that I'm going to have to face. I have decisions that I'll need to make. But you know what? For now I'm called to be here in Hawaii and I've been called to show His love, point others back to Him, and to serve Him in a roomful of preschoolers from the community. So I will live here in the now and focus on the task He's given me. He has tomorrow in His hands. My spirit is at peace. I rest in Him.
I'm grateful for your continued prayers and I've seen and felt the effects of them more than ever this past month. I can't imagine doing what I do here without your support from home. I'm eager to see your faces again. I love you all and I'll be seeing you very soon! I pray God blesses each of you abundantly.
With Much Love and Aloha,
Julia
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