Preparing to Leave

Four days left. Four very busy and therefore, very short days left. Four days left here in Kona, Hawaii before a Delta plane will land my feet in Atlanta, Georgia again. Funny, for the past three years, this was all I wanted. To come serve the Lord in missions in Hawaii. Now I've been here. I've served. And in four days, it will be over. 

It's brought my heart to a great deal of reflection. I've watched new Mission Builders arrive. So full of zest and excitement, so wide-eyed with wonder at this place. I see myself in them three months ago. 

But I'm past the stage of newness. Past the stage of infatuation when you begin falling in love with this place. With the opportunities it offers. With the freedom. With the adventures. With the amazing worship services that jump start your spiritual life on a growth spurt. I watch them discovering the best sights of Hawaii. Hiking, taking their first road trips around the island, getting drunk on the wanderlust this place floods your soul with. I watch them discovering the best places to eat in Kona, the best beaches, the best coffee shops, and the best places to watch the sunset. I used to be that person. 

I'm past the stage also that they don't know yet. The stage of boredom. Of confinement. Of feeling trapped, as if I would lose my mind if I didn't get off this island and out of small-town Kona. "Island fever" they call it. I'm past that too. 

And now these last two weeks, I've entered a new stage. Three weeks ago, I was so excited to be going home. Apart from vacationing, I had no real desire to return. Now I'm excited, but my love for this place nearly equals now my desire to see oak trees and front porches of the South again. For the first time now, I know how people can stay here. It isn't that you ever stop missing your home place and that you never still have your moments of feeling homesick: your love for this place simply becomes greater than your desire for home. This place becomes home. 

I've cried immensely now already at the thought of leaving. This past week, I've discovered a part of my heart that doesn't want to leave. 

I've reached the stage of comfort. Of familiarity. That breeds a deep deep love. Like a cozy fire that burns and keeps you warm on the coldest nights. There's no newness here anymore, but there's also no more fear. Somehow in this stage now, my heart has found a home here. 

And I think this is the stage in which people decide to stay forever. 

You've been good to me, Kona, and I'm leaving forever changed. 

#ywamkona #missionbuilders #kokuacrew