Ohana
~a wave lingers on the shore for but a moment before the tide calls it on, but on the sand behind are left shells, showing where once it touched and left its heart
I've cried so many tears since this morning. We all have. In six hours, I'll be on a plane bound for Los Angeles, taking me farther away from this place than I want to go. Some of us have already left; most of us will be leaving tonight. These three months will be behind us, like a fantasy, a dream.
But I knew this day had to happen. Before coming to this island, I had a terrible fear of it. A part of me that never wanted to come. Because if I never came, I would never have to leave, I reasoned. I knew it was going to hurt this much, saying goodbye.
But it was worth it. So worth it. Every tear, every heartache, every ounce of hurting in leaving this place. If given the choice again to come, my heart would say "yes" before my lips could speak the word. Absolutely yes. I wouldn't trade this time for anything in the world.
This last weekend, we've been trying to prepare ourselves. Promising each other that we wouldn't cry and breaking that promise. Talking with nostalgia of the sweet memories we made when we first came here. Begging time to stop so we could all stay here forever. "I'll break the hands on all the clocks and watches." Trying to rationalize against God calling me home for now a way that I could stay longer. Making tearful plans and promises to visit each other around the globe, so unknowing of what tomorrow brings but grasping for comfort in the time of parting.
Were he still here, one of my guy friends would remind me now that I'm strong and would tell me to "hang loose" and not to focus on the sadness of leaving but on the excitement of what's ahead. My roommate would tell me that it's okay to let myself cry. And one of our staff tells me that the tears and the sadness of leaving and missing people only means that I loved well here. And the truth is, they're all right. There's a time to cry and there's also a time to move on. Never looking back, never feeling regret, never holding back. God meets us right where we are and walks with us in every step.
Love and love well. Be present. Laugh often. Dance. Lay under palms and dream big. Dig your toes in the sand and be still. Stay up late and watch the stars. Go hiking in the rain. Shout at the sight of rainbows. Meet new people and draw friends close to your heart as family. Life is too short for fear of goodbyes.
Aloha kākou.
No comments:
Post a Comment