Just to See You Smile

June 27, 2016

Just a small reminder for anyone who needs to hear it tonight: God cares. 

This evening, I showered, threw on comfortable clothes, and walked down to the ocean to sit and talk to God. I've been stressing a lot lately. A lot about money and about restlessness. It's been on my mind more than it should. It's had me feeling very discouraged. 

No makeup, my hair full and fluffy drying in humidity, my comfort clothes- my old roommate's t-shirt that hangs off my shoulder and my locket holding with my parents' pictures. I probably looked homeless. But who cares? It was just me and God in my most natural state, just as I am. 

As I watched the waves dancing in the sunset light, I cried. I prayed. I felt alone and insecure in my purpose and forgotten by God. But I began singing "It Is Well" by Bethel as I started walking back home on the boardwalk lined with tourist shops and cafés. 

"It is well 

It is well 

With my soul

Let go, my soul

And trust in Him

The waves and wind 

Still know His name"

I passed by a little Hispanic girl about eight-years-old, walking with her dad and sibling, and as we passed each other, she looked up into my face and spoke to me. 

"You're very pretty." 

I felt anything but pretty in that moment and I certainly hadn't felt like smiling, but somehow a smile spread across my face. 

And I realized that God was reminding me through that young girl that He cares. 

It disturbs us when we see tears or the lines of stress furrowed on the brow of someone we love. We'd do anything to make them smile again. 

And God is the same. 

He reminded me tonight that He cares. That it hurts Him to see our tears and our stress and that He wants to take that weight from our shoulders and see us smile again. He loves to see you smile. 

It makes His heart happy every time that you smile and He enjoys making you smile when you're not. He whispered to my heart tonight that He loves me and that He's a good Father who wants to bless us and give us good gifts. 

Maybe it's time that we- that I- start believing Him. 

Now I get to fall asleep listening to some of my crew playing guitar softly and singing worship songs by the hammocks outside of my bedroom window. 

Through it all, God is good and faithful.