Your Face is All I Seek

Hawaii. What a beautiful place this is. I'm sitting here at Daylight Mind, my favorite coffee shop in Kona. Sitting here alone in the quiet of the afternoon at a bistro table on the covered lanai. Sitting here watching the waves come rushing in toward the shore, cresting in white foam just before they break upon the black lava rocks. The hazy shadow of mountains rises to the left. To the right... the horizon. Endless water as far as I can see. I'm in love with this land. My soul feels so at rest, so at peace, so much at home here. It feels like home. And I feel saturated every day with the Lord's presence in a way that I've never experienced before. My soul feels content, satisfied. I find myself speechless in awe or even drawn to tears every single day. I feel His presence so strongly with me in this place.

I came here to this island, leaving my home and my family, all that I had ever known, in obedience to God's calling. He asked me to come. I came.

But I also came looking for answers. Hoping to find direction for my future. To discover what the Lord wants the next step of my life to look like.

But in the eighteen days that I've been here, I've come to realize something. The answers I'm searching for I won't find here in Hawaii. I'm searching in vain for something that this place even with all of its beauty and majesty can't give me. This place isn't for me. Not now.

And that's okay.

These past two weeks have shown me that there's still an unclosed chapter of my life back home in Georgia. I have unfinished business. The Lord isn't done with me there yet.

So in nine weeks I go home, not with dread or disappointment, but with excitement. I'm very excited to see what He has in store for me at home. And I'm not heartbroken at the thought of leaving Hawaii. Because I'll be back. I know I'll be back. Maybe in a year, maybe in a few years. I'll make my life here someday for another season. 

Just not yet.

I'm at peace here in Hawaii, and I'm at peace at the thought of going home. It is well with my soul. 

And in the meantime, I enjoy my time here. I'm soaking up every moment, capturing memories in my heart, leaving a piece of my heart here until I return someday. Because my time here isn't to find answers. I know now that that isn't why God called me here. It's a time to grow. A time to change me, to mature me, to prepare me, to prepare my heart for all that He has in store for my future, both here in Hawaii and at home, whatever that may look like.

God never intended for this to be a time of frustration for me, futiley searching for direction among the sand of these shores. This isn't about finding myself. This is about realizing like I've never realized before how incredibly loved I am by Him and how good He is.

This has been the song the Lord has put on my lips and on my heart the last few days:

"Oh Lord, You're beautiful,

Your face is all I seek,

And when Your eyes are on this child,

Your grace abounds to me.

I want to take Your Word and shine it all around. 

First help me just to live it, Lord.

And when I'm doing well,

Help me to never seek a crown

For my reward is giving glory to You."

I don't need direction or answers, He's shown me. All I need is His presence, a fresh revelation of Who He is. And I've found that. He is with me just as near beneath the pine trees of Georgia as He is beside the swaying palms and the crashing waves. 

And that's all that I need.

"Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." James 4:8

-Oh Lord, You're Beautiful; Jesus Culture